how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Found the puke drawer
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough