Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.