dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?