peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.