It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize