We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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