don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.