the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment