She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left