Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
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I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.