i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am mentally ready for anal.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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