just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize