I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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