i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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