sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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