The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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