that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
