i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
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I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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