Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy