How drunk are you??
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry about my life...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me