no. you can't hotbox the world.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.