ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?