Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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