They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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