The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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