Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Liz is crying about burritos again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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