how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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