So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize