I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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