My hand turned me down
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize