i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
