FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize