Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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