You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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