Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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