enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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