the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
