I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize