if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
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I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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