Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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