Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy

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  (586): Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy http://tfl.nu/kc5d
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids

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  (419): I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids http://tfl.nu/0arl
  Replies (11) Good night (869) Bad night (1089)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.

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  (860): he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot. http://tfl.nu/hpow
  Replies (87) Good night (1074) Bad night (6155) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.

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  (317): After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now. http://tfl.nu/z4u1
  Replies (38) Good night (815) Bad night (8702) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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  (201): nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment http://tfl.nu/9t1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1052) Bad night (4089) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE

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  (614): Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE http://tfl.nu/myo8
  Replies (21) Good night (3915) Bad night (1413) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers

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  (910): I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers http://tfl.nu/vom9
  Replies (16) Good night (981) Bad night (5040)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Career choice validated

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  (732): Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!" (732): Career choice validated http://tfl.nu/g765
  Replies (51) Good night (9285) Bad night (858)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.

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  (715): Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank. http://tfl.nu/5t9g
  Replies (1) Good night (917) Bad night (1695) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

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  (303): I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college http://tfl.nu/bc9j
  Replies (7) Good night (2316) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.

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  (856): When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'. http://tfl.nu/va9k
  Replies (8) Good night (1391) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin

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  (608): Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin http://tfl.nu/qc7j
  Replies (5) Good night (870) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.

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  (814): Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck. (215): Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate. http://tfl.nu/mf4n
  Replies (5) Good night (1234) Bad night (308)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.

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  (801): Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight. http://tfl.nu/rr81
  Replies (10) Good night (725) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled

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  (910): I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled http://tfl.nu/mvb6
  Replies (8) Good night (365) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt

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