i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.