Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved