No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.