I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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