he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize