This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
