Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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