did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
