Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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