But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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