At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I need water and some morals
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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