glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
