But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
