"it" just moved
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize