I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
