hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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