she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
