TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
