Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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