Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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