I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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